liberty and us

studies arent sposed to mek me feel so but some how they do..they alweys do.mek me feel suicidal,lonely depressed.especially the ones b4 semesters.the long hard month when u earnestly try 2 understand whats it al about..failing miserably..and at the end of the month if u end up understanding y u shd understand them in the frst place, other than the sinister and simple reason that they are in your syllabi and u need the understand (read: mug) them up to good grades and 'be a good student and a responsible engineer of the society'...

that day i was readin an essay by robert lynd i thnk..it was titled "how 2 ryt a nice essay"..he adviced that the sole aim should be logical and step by step analytical reasoning.i tryd following that path and asked myself "what is freedom of thought"..and i failed then and there..freedom is liberty to think what one wants to be,not necessarily bound by strict rationality,liberty of thought process..i call freedom a breath of fresh air that helps our mind fly...lets our mind apply colors 2 our imagination..and freedom of mind is but a part of freedom in general.

and then when i tried applying these principles,albeit naive to many, to our present life i understood how terribly unfree we are...

we dun have freedom or liberty to think what we want to,we cant lend wings to our imagination,lest it be branded as a waste of time by those who 'know better',we cannot take our time to comprehend what we are taught and what they expect us 2 'understand',we arent given the freedom to think beyond what is written in the 'standard text books' and consequently seriously impairing our ability to innovate..we arent made 2 explore the different channels and roads lest we end up in a dead end..we are elweys the 'guided ones' ensuring that we know not but what they want us 2 kno..we arent med 2 judge what is plausible and what not,cos we jus arent exposed 2 the non plausible option..

but then we are bein educated and bein 'resonsible engineers of the society'

hardly any scope for imagination isnt it??

if only somebody hadnt felt that 'imagination is more important than knowledge'

if only somebody hadnt written

"two roads diverged in a wood

and i took the one less traversed by

and that

has made all the difference"

An Optimist's Stride

Dunno wat meks me cum bak
Long afta am gon
Dunno wat meks me think agen
Long afta I hav moved on


Dunno y i fall weak
Even wen I try 2 b strong
Dunno y i am sad
My futile life…it seems al so wrong

Dunno y I am in so mch pain
I try 2 over come it
I fall,
I rise
I rise but not for long
I rise to fall again

Thru da stormy night
I wak alone
Lonely wounded battered n sad
I wak alon
I wak alon


But o wait
Hark da songs
Behold da light in front

Dun give up Dun hold bak
Dun hide Dun flee
U r needed in da battle front



I fall
I rise
I fall but not for long
I fall 2 rise agen

the 'simple' life

Sumthn dat was sposed 2 b pretty 'simple' trnd out 2 be very complex the other day...life is a bitch and life is always like this,isnt it?

Here is the deal..
in jist its just ones own conscience versus social norms and decorums, if or not to follow to the tee what the 'pandits' of our society demands us to do...
one might reasonably say that one should follow ones heart..doin thngs u like doin without harmin others of course...that ones conscience alweys guides one well...that one shdnt be so niave as to not question and rationalise wat one is doin and do it blindly just cos..well just cos its social norm...

wel thats what i thot...and what do i find...yea u guessed it rite buddy that people dunt alwes thnk so..

actually this is what happend..here i was sitting at DP, a mall near my house, with my girl friend and i bought up this topic, feeling safe inside that this prettty much is an issue where she cant contradict me...where we wont end up saying "tun jao apne raaste,hum chale apne..."
i said "if ever our conscience,but not so da rules or your society, permits u to do sumthn and u wana do it..then wd u do it??
i was safe, so safe....she couldnt disagree could she??
but like i sed life is a bitch...and it has this habit of shattering your safety, rattling you up, bursting your balls, and stuffing ur candy up your ass while u r still trying 2 figure out wt wrong u did...
thats exactly wat happend...this led to that and that 2 this...and finally,yea it led the mecca of perhaps all girl friend boy friend 'debates'...
she asked me if u are stayin put in some other country for a few years and if u are like lonely or sumthn and if u have this girl then if ever i would hav sex with her for jus physical satisfaction even if i am waitin for u bak here....dad did say that if there are so many 'if's in the sentence then u shd alweys say that its pretty complicated and u need time 2 thnk bout it...i dint follow his advice...i kept mum, ponderin wat i wd do....and then came her poke...'o cmon, are u impotent or wat,of course u l feel da need....'or sumthn along these lines cos the head injury that was inflicted on me at the end of this 'safe' debate seem 2 render sum damage 2 my memory...
encouraged by her i did say that yea perhaps i wd....and newe its not like we are married or sumthn so i am not being an infidel ....

KA BOOM...
o well the rest is some what similar to the hundred years war that the english and the french took part in....

thats life for me..xciting,funny and yea a bit war like..but i am fukkin in love wt life and her...an eternal optimist, and yea an 'infidel' according to many of u out there...